My Significant Other (Part II)

sig·nif·i·cant oth·er

1. a person with whom someone has an established romantic or sexual relationship

Exactly one year ago I published one of my highest viewed articles, “My Significant Other”.

Valentine’s day. A great day to shamelessly click-bait my friends and family for views on my blog, right?

But I published that article to make a point. This Valentine’s day, I would like to make the same point, of which I believe to be important to understand, and fatal to forget.

This is my third year of college. My twentieth year of life. In that time, I have made a lot of mistakes, and I have seen a lot of mistakes made.

I’ve seen a lot of abuse, and I myself have been abused.

It hurts. You can see it in a person’s face when they have been let or torn down by someone they care about. I have been torn down by people I cared about. The worst part? Often people don’t recognize that they are being abused by someone else; if they do recognize it, then they don’t often know how to resolve the issue. I’m not specifically speaking in a romantic setting, but it is most prominent and more crushing in that case.

Where lies the problem? I believe a large part of it belongs to passion.

Passion can be a good thing. Love is a good thing. But they are not synonymous. Love can be a passion, but your passions are not always driven by love.

Passion is a strong [and barely controllable] emotion. Personally, to me, that is a terrifying description. People talk about passion as if its something very romantic, and in some sense it very well can be. But it can also be a dangerous thing. Saint Augustine (in The Confessions of Saint Augustine) talks about his younger passions in the context of his lusts, gladiatorial arenas, sin driven dramatic plays, and thievery. These were his passions when he was younger, and they nearly destroyed him. An uncontrollable lust is not romantic. It is devastating.

My point of last year’s article was that “Reckless passion is how we turn a significant other into an idol”. One year later, I still want to push that.

Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

We have passions. God gave us a heart to feel emotions with. But we are to also have self-control. There are laws against lusts and thievery, but no law against peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness and gentleness. That is what our passions must be driven by.

So what about love? Well, call me cliche (Valentine’s day seems like a day for cliches); God is love.

1 John 4:16 says, “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

We are made to love! In fact, we are to abide in love, and therefore abide in God. 1 John goes on to say; “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:19-20, ESV).

We are commanded to love, but if we do not love one another then we cannot truly know love (God).

Love is a big deal, and turning it into a passion driven idol is a fatal flaw.

I want you to think about that definition I threw at you at the start of the article: Significant Other.

Whatever your situation is on this highly romantic day; not to lower the joy or importance of a girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse; know that your most significant other is the LORD your God, who knows you better than you know yourself. He is your hope, and your salvation. Christ came down from on high to die for you, saving your from an eternal damnation.

If that isn’t romantic, then I don’t know what is.

Passion can be a good thing. Falling madly in love happens. But don’t be ruled by it, and don’t let it rule over you. Pray. Read your Bible. Know love for what it truly is. And also, have a great Valentine’s day.




  1. Great thoughts Nate, thanks for sharing. Just to let you know I was paying attention and not to criticize you, It is strange how liar and lair are so close in spelling and could be connected in our relationships.



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